Archive for April, 2012

The Greatest Sex Organ

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on April 25, 2012 by wmcutterblack

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Whether you’re vanilla, D/s, or some variant of BDSM, hopefully you have come to realize that nothing is so stimulating as an active thinking mind.  Sure, there are people who enjoy the stereotype dumb bimbo or the empty-headed gigolo, just as there are people who mistake a “know-it-all” for intelligent, but, in reality, and perhaps more as your experience with people accrues, you find that the mind is, indeed, the greatest sex organ of all.

It’s the mind behind that sexy Dom or seductive sub that really has staying power.  They can be beautiful or have that raw magnetism that pulls you closer, but if their mind is dull and hollow, you soon tire of their company and seek out something more stimulating.  Someone who actually thinks, not just throws out an impressive memorized list of facts or bombastic opinions can keep you entertained, engaged, and curious for decades.

Thinking means the person is alert to their surroundings and what you are doing and saying.  They’re not distracted by “shiny objects” like a magpie, but are focused in the moment and what’s happening in it.  Thinking people are often creative as well as practical and reliable.  Of course, there are the theoretical thinkers as well, like the absent minded professor whose mind is off on another plane altogether, but they are the exceptions. 

That Dom who always seems to be coming up with new erotic ways to please himself and his sub?  He’s a thinker.  The sub who goes above and beyond the call of duty and always seems to present her Dom with a pleasing surprise?  She’s a thinker. 

In D/s relationships, when two thinkers are present, there are no limits to what they can experience and devise for their mutual pleasure and sharing.  Just my opinion.  Your mileage may vary…

Blindfolded…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 24, 2012 by wmcutterblack

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When D/s uses sensory deprivation as a sensual device, it changes the dynamic in what can be super-charged erotic ways.  We are normally so dependent on seeing things that when that ability is removed temporarily, the other senses seem to become more alert and aware.

These other senses, smell, taste, touch, hearing become heightened along with the added element of surprise at what may happen next.  Blindfolding encourages the hands, lips, and tongue to “grope” for the desired body part, particularly, of course, the genitalia.  And once touched, kissed, or licked, the tendency of the sub is to cling more fervently, to taste more deeply.

The blindfolded sub is a powerful visual image and stimulus for the dominant partner as well.  One becomes more creative with teasing and foreplay, for example, knowing that the sub cannot see what we are about to do.  Dominants may enhance what the other senses perceive through music and sound, change the touch sensations using ice or heat, soft or hard, pressure or lightness; scents such as incense or fresh fruit, massage oils, seem more invasive, the sense of taste increased by fresh fruit or chocolate.

When blindfolding is added to bondage or restraints and the ability to move freely is restricted, the combination is both erotic and enhanced for both partners.  Even the blindfold material itself becomes a part of the increased sensation, whether it be a leather mask, or silk or satin, scarf or necktie.  The ritual tying of the blindfold is even a form of bondage.

Once blindfolded, the submissive can be led by guidance, command, leash or by hand, to a new area where the ambience is different and unfamiliar, again heightening the perception of strangeness and the unknown, even if it simply another room in the apartment or house. 

Fun, Scene, or Lifestyle: What’s in Your Bag?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 23, 2012 by wmcutterblack

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I keep noting lots of new subs and Doms asking for advice in terms of “looking for play” “He/She wants me to ______.  What should I do?” and “looking for scene partners”.

I suspect some of these people are from the “hook up” school of relationships which places them squarely opposed to to many others who see whatever aspect of D/s or BDSM they practice.

I remember some years ago when sex toy purveyors started offering “fuzzy handcuffs” and lifestylers said “There goes the neighborhood.”  Then not long afterward, there was a rise in the sales of “velcro collars” and again, with dismay, the old school lifestylers said “WTF!”

It’s understandable that those with deep and lifetime commitments to the BDSM lifestyle will look askance at those who are only in it to temporarily spice up their sex lives, follow the latest sexual fad, or just fun, don’t you think?

Many of those just approaching the resources (online education tools, chat rooms, dating services, Second Life, Fetlife, etc.) without serving the so-called reality apprenticeship for deeper appreciation and expecting instant Dom or sub status will probably drop the lifestyle within a few years simply because some new fad will have replaced it as the “next big thing”.

But I suspect (just as in the vanilla sexual world) there will be those who doggedly hang in without gaining more understanding and wonder why they are disappointed with results.  Such will include the romanticist subs and the predator “Doms”.

While there are loads of resources available to read and research the reality of Dom/sub relationships, some people will not use the resources because it may not be in their true nature to do “homework” or even pay attention to the advice offered, so we see the same “newbie” questions asked over and over.

Of course, some people are not in the lifestyle for sex at all.  They enjoy scening, whether in public or private, often to achieve their own personal goal, whether it be the endorphin rush, sub- or Dom-space “highs”, exhibitionism, service fulfillment, sadism/masochism, fetish play, and so forth.

Committed lifestylers are usually more concerned with relationships, developing the mutual dynamics of long-term partnerships whether they are based in needs met, romantic love, or other elements.

We can hope that not only newbies, but everyone, re-examine what they seek within the various facets of BDSM and D/s and determine if they are just in it for the fun, to scene, or to seek out a committed partner for a mutually satisfying relationship despite the challenges and difficulties that may entail.

The three elements (fun, scene, and lifestyle) are not necessarily incompatible, but if you want one or the other be sure your partners ARE compatible with that.  Too many broken hearts result when a romantically-inclined sub or Dom looking for a long term relationship tries it out with someone who just wants the fun part.  Or whatever combination.  There are also the just-for-fun types who freak out when a deep relationship-seeking sub or Dom/Domme wants more than they are willing to offer.

Find your own balance, whichever way it flows, for the best results.

Erotic Fantasy – The Sensualist

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 20, 2012 by wmcutterblack

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The Sensualist – an erotic fantasy

She couldn’t help the shiver that coursed through her as she watched him glide a bitten strawberry over her left nipple, bring it to his mouth, lick it, and repeat the glide around her right nipple. 

She tried to arch her back and press her breasts harder against his hand, but the ropes circling her prevented any movement.  Just moments before, she’d tested the ropes and knots around her wrists when, with a smile on his lips, he’d rubbed the thick enpurpled head of his cock over her fingers.  She wanted to grab it, hell, she’d wanted to take hold of it and pull it up to her mouth for a kiss, a lick, to suck it.  But her wrists were tied firmly with only enough slack not to cut off the blood circulation. 

She lay on her back on a raised tabletop and her eyes watched his every movement.  Like a cougar or panther, he paced around her naked body and then would suddenly take her jaw in a strong hand and kiss her mouth, his tongue probing and dancing on hers.

Time and again, the goosebumps would rise on her skin as he toyed with her.  He seemed to have an endless variety of kisses, touches, rough caresses, suckings and licks that he played on her body like a master musician or sculptor. 

Now raising the remains of the dripping strawberry, he brushed it across her lips and licked the juice from them.  As his tongue moved up to trace the contours of her left ear, his other hand, light as a feather, traced a crooked line down her belly until his fingers settled just above her pussy.  He leaned his head closer and swept the flat of his tongue over her already swollen clit and then blew gently at the wetness.

Her hips rose, wanting to grind on his mouth, but he pulled away.  She felt her own wetness flow down from her pussy and seep through the line dividing her buttocks.  She’d never been so wet before nor so excited at her own sexual frustration.

Again, she felt the velvet caress of the tip of his tongue across her clitoris and couldn’t help the low moan that escaped her mouth.  She felt she couldn’t stand much more of the intoxicating torment and squirmed in the ropes.

In an instant, she felt his warm breath at her right ear, heard his low raspy whisper.

“Ready to cum already, my lovely?  But it’s only been thirty minutes.”

“Please,” she murmured.  It seemed like hours since he’d deftly tied her to the tabletop. 

“Say it again.  For me,” he said, stepping back.

Her lips slackly opened to form the word and felt the head of his cock brush over her lips.  The “Please” turned into a groan as she snaked her tongue out to taste him.  The head felt so smooth and hard on her tongue.  She sucked at the slit on the very tip and felt a droplet of pre-cum.  It made her entire body shudder to know she’d excited him.

“Please,” she repeated, feeling the cockhead throb against her lips as she spoke.  He smiled down at her, looking deeply into her eyes, and let her tongue wash around his cock for a long moment before stepping backward.

Her groan was louder this time.

She watched him walk down toward where her ankles were tied and felt his fingers untying the ropes.  Then she gasped as he gracefully climbed up on the tabletop, reaching down to grab her thighs and lift them.

Without a word, he aimed his cock at her wet and slightly gaping pussy lips and drove it deeply inside her.  She felt like he’d stabbed her with a shaft of molten metal or lava.  She bucked against him and he went deeper.

He began a rhythm of five deep thrusts, all the way down to his balls, then five short strokes with just the thick head entering her.  Her hips, now held firmly in his hands, spasmed and thrashed, trying to match his movements. 

“Is it good?” his voice rumbled down at her.  “Is it what you want?”

Her head kept twisting from side to side.  “Yes.  I want it.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want this!” she said louder.

“No.  I want you to say the words.”

She gnashed her teeth together and then cried out louder. 

“I want your cock fucking me.”

“More,” he urged, teasing the head of his cock over her clitoris.

“Oh, god,” she cried out.  “I want to…I want to come on your cock.  Now!”

“Good,” he replied, and began a faster, harder rhythm, plunging deep into her with every stroke.

She heard herself start an almost incoherent chant “Fuck me, please, I need to cum now. Please.”

He quickened the pace of his strokes as his thumb twitched rapidly on her clitoris, staccato tappings and swirling circles.

“Oh fuckohfuck,” she babbled.

And then she felt the spasms take control of her body; her pussy sucked frantically at him, drool leaked from her gaping mouth, and her climax erupted through her as if she’d been struck by lightning and thrown beneath a gushing waterfall at the same time.

Abruptly, he stopped his cock strokes, but still gently nudging her clitoris with his thumb.

“Oh,” he whispered at her ear.  “I didn’t give you permission to cum yet, did I?  We’ll have to start over again.”

She trembled, loudly sighed, and sank back against the tabletop.

He kissed her mouth roughly and nuzzled her cheek.  “Let’s begin again,” he whispered.

 

Dominate is a Verb

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on April 19, 2012 by wmcutterblack

Image    1. To control, govern, or rule by superior authority or power

2. To exert a supreme, guiding influence on or over

In the BDSM world, and particularly in D/s relationships, labels and shorthand are frequently used to denote who is whom and what is what.  In the daily working realities of relationships, whether in r/l or online, the dynamics are often much less strictly defined and the definitions more fluid and organic.

In days gone by, people were less concerned with living within the specific labels we have grown accustomed to today.  You might say their barcodes were more blurry and tricky to read.  I believe that hasn’t really changed, it’s simply that the sheer numbers of people involved make it easier to start with a pre-conceived ideal and see where, when, and how that ideal shifts and alters in situations and circumstances.

To those who do not think too deeply about the standardized labels, the general understanding is that domination is based on and means “power” – it may mean physical power or emotional/psychological power, but it doesn’t always also mean “superior authority” as per the definition above.  Nor does it always necessarily include a “guiding influence”. 

The dynamics of dominance are also often mis-construed as being rooted in patriarchal and even misogynistic behavior. It hardly appears as effective dominance, for example, for a lazy man to “order” his sub/partner to “get me a beer” just because they are too lazy to get up and get it themselves or to beat their submissive if they are not “quick enough about it.” 

So what, in reality, does “superior authority” mean in terms of dominance?  It can mean applied knowledge and experience.  It can mean specific or general expertise and skill.  It can mean better analysis and management in decision making.  It can mean a wider philosophic world view and sophistication.  When, however, the authority is based on false premises or outright lies, it undermines itself.

Most people inherently question authority, yes, even those who are generally submissive.  We wonder what the presumed authority is based on.  Is it based in fear or manipulation?  Is it based on the sometimes false presumption that “older is better/wiser”?  Is it based in bullying behavior?  Conversely, is it based on confidence through experience?  Is it based on rational and mature thought and action/reaction? 

Each and every relationship, like the people involved, will have a continually changing dynamic.  Without that dynamic in play, the rituals, protocols, daily behavior, and every other element will stagnate.  The rituals become performed by rote without the underlying emotional response which prompted them in the first place.  The protocols become stale and even boring when robbed of their original meaning and intent.  Sometimes they even become parodied or cynical as when the jaded submissive mutters “Yes, Sir,” while thinking/feeling an added “asshole.”

Dominate is a verb and as such it only has meaning when the action is, well, active and full of intent and energy.  When the energy is fueled by passion and the intent is desire, domination (as well as submission) is fulfilling and satisfying. 

We are continually seeing newcomers to D/s, of all ages, previous lifestyles, orientations, and genders, with questions: How do I ______?  Should I ________? 

Of course people explore domination for a variety of reasons, from simple curiosity to natural impulses, and there are numerous, simple and complex, resources available to research and discover.  Unfortunately, many also seek just “a quick fix”, a manual or handbook of D/s tips, techniques, and notes, a How-To book, like “Domination for Dummies”.  Here’s a tip: There is no quick fix.

Domination is not available at the drive-through window nor will it, like pizza, be delivered within a half-hour or it’s free.  It requires, in most cases, a lifetime of continuing experiences, failures and successes, commitment, study and applied knowledge, as well as learned skill sets and dep thinking/feeling.  It requires practice, like any skill or Art, to become confident in and at ease with so that it becomes as natural as breathing.

Yes, of course, you can play with the surface trappings of dominance, and all the accessories, from crops to harnesses, from kneeling postures for submissives to collars and leashes.  But to understand its deeper meanings, to “be” dominant, you need much, much more.  And remembering that dominate is a verb.

The Lure of Fetish

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 17, 2012 by wmcutterblack

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In clinical terms, a fetish is something required for gratification.  Note that: REQUIRED.  In other words, without the presence of the fetish item or behavior, you can’t climax.  In more modern terminology, a fetish can be more of an enhancement, something added to the “usual mix”.

Fetishes can have a wide range, of course.  For some, it’s leather or latex or rubber, for others, it may include behavior such as domination or bondage.  Fetishes can be general in nature or highly specific, such as lactating breasts or visual or audio “cues”.

One of mine is fashion and culture.  For example, I enjoy a woman wearing full-length opera gloves as in the photograph.  I certainly don’t require them, but from time to time, they are an enhancement.  The same is true for smoking, which is a fairly common fetish.  It’s an erotic charger, particularly now as it’s become almost a “taboo” behavior.

Fetish fashion, again, has a wide range.  From denims to silk, from black leather to second-skin latex, from corsets to “the little black dress” and so forth.  Haute couture can be extraordinarily seducing and as erotically-charged as a black leather submissive harness.  1950s style fetish fashion has become popular with the pencil skirts and tight sweaters of such TV series as Mad Men and “swing era” clubwear is also a growing general fetish as is belly-dancing costumes among the BDSM folk.

In role-play fetishes, work garb can be anything from hardhat to French maid, from police, fire, or EM to…well, anything your imagination conjures up.

I’d like to hear back from readers about their fetish fashion likes and dislikes.  Drop me a line.

A Little Erotic Fantasy – Part 2 (Cum for me)

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2012 by wmcutterblack

The Next Night – Cum for Me, Part 2

Awakening the next morning, she felt like two different people inhabited her body.  Taking her usual shower, the flow of water on her skin made her feel more sensually responsive somehow.  The warm spray and the sound, like falling rain, the rising steam, all conspired to remind her of last night’s shuddering orgasm.  Her fingers moved over her body and she imagined a man’s strong hands not just caressing but pressing harder and more urgently.  She plucked at her nipples, groped between her legs more roughly.  “I want you…like this,” her mind repeated.  But before she built to an unstoppable climax, she let her hands drop away.

Brushing her teeth, she examined the woman facing her in the mirror.  Her eyes looked different to her now.  Less tired and haunted, and yet, as she peered closer, some remnant of fierceness remained.  “I’m not like that,” she told herself.  “I’m not!”

All day at work, she felt distracted and uneasy as if something buried refused to stay that way, surfacing like an old injury to ache and make her twitch.

Somehow, she made it through the day and she tried to lose herself in music on the drive home, but as soon as she closed the door of her apartment and her eyes settled on the computer at her desk, something powerful rose up inside her and her knees sagged.

“This is ridiculous,” she told herself, and yet, the craving to log on the website where she’d seen the photographs, interacted with the sysop, and experienced the strong flow of sexual need drew her.  She fixed herself a quick snack and later, before she realized what she was doing, she unbuttoned her blouse and slipped out of her skirt.  Clad only in bra and panties, she sat at the computer and went to the website like before.

She scanned some of the recent photographs, some too extreme for her liking, then, startling her slightly, the message window opened.  Her heart beat faster and her breathing ragged as the sysop wrote to her.

“I want you…” he typed to her, “…to keep watching.”

The image on the screen faded to the original one she had seen last night: a woman in shadows kneeling on a carpet.  “This is you,” came the message.

Already, as she read the words, she felt her nipples hardening and the heat between her legs increase.  A smile curled her lips upward.  Fumbling fingers typed out a reply: “Yes, sir.”

The photograph dissolved into another.  A tall, strongly built man, naked to the waist, shadowed stood near the kneeling woman.

Below the waist, he wore snug leather pants.  Between his legs, there was a large half-domed bulge and beside it another, long and tubular bulge, clearly outlining a cock.

She leaned closer to the computer screen and licked her suddenly dry lips.

“This is me,” the sysop typed.

As she leaned back again, the photograph dissolved into a quick series of the man in the leather pants stepping closer and closer to the kneeling woman.  As he stood over her, his hand bunched in the woman’s hair and in the next series of dissolving photographs, he pulled her to her feet and dragged her across the room to a bed.

The images on her computer screen sharpened and grew more detailed in close-ups.  She felt a tremble begin in her legs and she clenched her thighs together, resisting the urge to touch herself where the heat grew strongest.

In the photographs another series began in which the shadowed man threw the woman on the bed.  He released her hair and wrapped and tied her wrists together in front of her.  The woman neither struggled nor resisted.  In the next series, the man tied a cloth blindfold over the woman’s eyes. And in the next, he pulled her legs into a spreadeagle and tied her ankles.

The woman had begun to writhe, her body shifting and her hips squirming.  Then in more detailed close ups, the man, still shadowed, used a pair of scissors to cut the sides of the woman’s panties, finally ripping them from her body.

As she watched the images on her computer screen unfold, she shuddered strongly and felt her breath choke and rasp.  Now the heat in her own panties seemed unbearable and she pulled them down, lifting her ass from the chair.  Her panties, already wettened slid to the floor.

“I want you…like this,” the sysop typed, drawing a groan from her.  She squeezed her thighs together tighter and typed a reply.  “Yes, sir.”

She moaned as the next series of pictures showed the man’s head lowering over the woman’s pussy, then dissolved into extreme close-ups of the man’s tongue licking up and down the woman’s exposed labia, then the tip of his tongue swirled over the swollen clitoris.

As she watched the photographs, fascinated, she couldn’t help herself.  Her middle finger touched her own clitoris, rubbing it up and down and sometimes dipping down between her very wet pussy lips and then back up to rub her clit furiously.

“I want you…like this.  Beneath my tongue,” the sysop typed.

The woman in the photograph had begun to buck her hips upward, trying to grind herself on the man’s tongue.

The photographs seemed to blur slightly as she half closed her eyes and thrust her own hips harder against her fingers.  She was using two fingers tightly pressed together now and imitated the movements of the shadowed man’s tongue.  Her fingers slid wetly up and down her labia, sometimes slipping inside and then returning always to her round pulsing clitoris.

“I want you…to cum for me,” the sysop typed.

The woman in the photographs finally arched her back like a tightly stretched bow, her mouth opening wide.

Almost oblivious to anything else, she stared at the computer and bit her lower lip, arching as the woman in the photograph and gasping as she felt the waves of orgasm rush through her whole body.  She stiffened as she came and uttered a sharp cry: Ahhhhhhh!

She slumped back down to her chair as the photograph dissolved into darkness.

“I want you…” the sysop typed.  “…to go shopping tomorrow.”

Shaky and confused, she replied.  “Shopping?”

“You know what I want you to buy,” answered.

“I…I don’t understand.  What should I…”

“You know,” he typed.  The screen showed the woman kneeling on the carpet again, now wearing black leather wrist cuffs and a matching collar.

“I don’t…”

“I want you like this,” he typed to her.

Her shoulders trembled and her head bowed as her fingers, shaky and hesitant, typed: “Yes, sir.”