Rough Sex? Yum or not?


I often see responses on Forums from newly-minted submissives and a few veterans discussing their want of roughrer sex from partners.  For many, there’s nothing quite so thrilling and satisfying as those passionate outbursts in which it appears their Dom/Domme has gone beyond reserved “control”.  Who doesn’t want to be hungered for, after all?

Now for some, the style of domination can be “I told you to do xxx”, just do it, and do it joyfully.”  BUT that can seem dispassionate and icy, can’t it?  Instead, I believe a Dom/Domme needs to vary the pace and dynamic from time to time.  To change up the setting and expression of what and why they desire their particular submissive or slave to accomplish.

The activities themselves may range from sudden hair-pulling to verbal humiliation, from toying during bondage (“I can do anything I please with you now”) to light physical torment (slapping, etc.) and so on.  The main thing, the most powerful thing is to express that passionate desire versus the ho-hum level of expected behavior.  Be assured it is the “immediacy” that matters.  This means moving away from the “ordinary schedule” to “I want this NOW!”  Why is this so important to both subs and Doms/Dommes?  Because it can be shocking and yet reassuring that neither partner has become complacent.

Subs can practice, too, a false denial (on the surface) that they are resisting the command or action(s).  “No, I don’t want to lick Your feet, kiss our cock/pussy,” etc.  As a means to any end — and the end doesn’t have to be punishment, but rather ravishment — such “role play” can really amp up the mutual pleasure.

TPE (Total Power Exchange) doesn’t have to mean that everything becomes so ordered as to get boring.  If the slave/sub becomes so predictable in their behavior and the Dom/Domme’s commands always so literally obeyed without question or pause, the roles can utterly lose their dynamic and passionate qualities.  After all, domination also means “taking” and submissiveness also means “surrendering”, so keep the dynamic active and not hum-drum.

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