Perfect fucks…

Sure, we all know that D/s, or whatever variety of BDSM you engage in, is not just about the sex, but realistically without sex you’re just performing in a “scene”.  It’s like doing a drug, but not getting high, or doing a “job” just to pay the bills.  The passion and commitment of a relationship changes all our acts and our behavior into a form of foreplay and sex.  For a submissive to go to their knees is both part of their outward expression of personality AND an expression of their desire (to please themself and their Dominant).  When a Dominant looks upon their sub, touches them, commands them — that’s the same, an expression of their self AND foreplay.  On the other hand, for those Dominants whose only concept of a D/s relationship is “Make me a sandwich” or “Bring me a beer”, that’s not foreplay.  It’s chauvinism.  And, yes, there is a difference.  A BIG one.  But right now, we’re talking about the sex…and those perfect fucks.

Why are they perfect?  Because the match is right.  Both partners are enmeshed in roles that suit them.  One dominates, the other submits.  Willingly, happily, lovingly because each is receiving what they want and giving what pleases their partner best.  Perfect, too, because nothing should intrude on the sensuousness of the act(s).  Whether oral or penetrative, the fuck is paramount.  No ulterior motive.  No game-playing.  No hidden agendas.  Just sex in roles which are right for the partners.

Too many Doms, particularly those new or inexperienced, misidentify what D/s is, how it works, how it is lived.  They often base their concepts and behavior on some false impression gained from porn or extreme erotica.  Your mileage may vary if you’re seriously Sadistic or Masochistic, but clinical S/M is actually more rare than we think.  The same is true for clinical fetishism.  If, say, leather arouses you, that’s one thing.  It’s merely stimulus.  BUT if you physically NEED leather to achieve orgasm, that’s a clinical fetish.  If you cannot achieve orgasms without leather or some other fetish, then you have a psychological dependence.   Again, knowledge — and it is available — is important to determine who and what you are.

In my experience, people often experiment with various fetishes and fetish items.  They explore this or that with the idea that it will spice up their relationship(s).  What they rarely do, however, and what is more important, is to experiment or explore sensuality/sexuality without the fetish present to determine if it’s merely an accessory or a necessity.  Perhaps we need a new term for “the casual fetish” which is nice, but not clinically needed to achieve climax.

The perfect fuck — within the D/s relationship — is based not on the accessories, but on the communication (talking, body language, actions) and emotional feeling between the two partners and results in full satisfaction for both. 


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