Why a Firm Grip?


Quite simply, submissives prefer a firm grip, both physically and metaphorically.  A firm grip demonstrates passion and control.  Now do not misunderstand that control means “control freak”.  That sort of micromanagement is not what Dominance is all about.  On the contrary, micromanagement in D/s relationships often is a cover for insecurity and lack of mature control.

The Art of Dominance (and it should be an Art) includes both the technical skill set and the psychical elements of leadership, mentorship, experiential knowledge, and the ability to earn absolute respect.

It is important to remember that each relationship is unique and organic because each person is a set of different circumstances, experience, and reactions.  Each relationship is organic in the sense that if it does not continually grow, it decays.

Too many Doms (particularly the younger one) do not understand that one of the qualities of a good D/s relationship includes nurturing and attention to the nature of the submissive.  There can be no “one size fits all” despite certain generic protocols that appear universal (i.e. kneeling, honoring the Dominant, pleasure through service, and so forth).

What a firm grip means is that the submissive understands they are protected and strongly desired in the relationship.  There will be, at any point of time, certain questions and doubts which arise from situations and circumstances of life, social intercourse, work, economics, and the natural ups and downs of emotional responses.  A good Dominant demonstrates that they maintain a firm grip ~ as much as possible ~ on these situations, so that the submissive does not feel confused or unstable.

This is one of the reasons we say that a good Dominant is a natural leader, able to control his or her reactions and responses.  They maintain a firm grip on themselves as well as on their submissive.

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